You don't belong here.

For what it's worth, I suppose I have a lot to answer for. Namely, the appearance of my son whom I had no knowledge of until recently. Perhaps I have been at fault for a great deal of recent troubles, yet remorse is far from my mind. The lack of emotional bonding has left a hole that I can't fill even through battle. Dante, my recent uniting of my humanity and other outside sources have played a huge role in my ascension, though I must admit the results were quite surprising. I'm unable to ascertain if it's for the better or worse yet. Admission to these facts may not be a weakness.

For the lack of better terms, I suppose all that's left is to wait and see what happens next. Fighting with Dante and alongside him has rekindled an old passion found anew. Whether or not that I am weaker or stronger has yet to be determined. Have I stagnated over the decades? What if this is all I am and all that I will ever be? A father? Heh, I'm not sure how to begin that journey. Nero is a grown man and I was in no way a part of his life until now yet he saved my life and Dante's.

This brings me to a new topic. How has he grown in power when he has virtually none of the devil's powers? What has caused his ascension and what sparked this power to cause Nero to take on a completely new form? I'm uncertain, though I have my speculations. According to Dante, through our many conversations through our heated battles, he has brought me to speed on the situation that could have triggered his power. I gave Nero no credit for what he is or what he has become. As curious as I was to find out the reasons, there was no reason at all why he stepped in as he had. His love, perhaps, is much stronger than I realized. What I saw of Nero before me that day was no devil nor human, but an angel?

This begs the question....why? Dante and I are Nephilim in the truest sense though the term is disgusting, impure, a label placed upon our kind that suggests an abomination. Then I investigated further into this reasoning behind the term. Devils are the Fallen. Once by the hand of God, they turned their backs to the Devine to embrace the basest of instincts. Though Nephilim remain, it doesn't suggest that we are saviors of any kind. It only means that we are the culmination of man and Devil. Nothing more. We are not human or Devil, much less Angel. I am no more a man than I am a devil. Just as Dante embraced his humanity, I too must find a reason to live on. Nero, his future, is his alone. Now that he knows, as I do, that we are kin it's his decision to make what he chooses to do with his life.

Man, Devil, it matters little anymore. My lust for power has been squelched for now. I lost the battle but the war is still waging on. Now, I fight with Dante. Something that I hadn't dreamed of doing since I was young. My eyes were closed for so long that I couldn't see why he tried to fight for me - to save me from myself. Nero opened my eyes to a truth that I was too blind to see before me since I first met Dante after years of separation upon that tower. I was missing something, and now I found it.

Inevitability gave its greeting today in the form of a woman and her grudge. Today was the first time since my arrival from Hell, no, that is not correct, the second time since my arrival that I had an alcoholic beverage. The second time I had vodka, half a shot and I lost my footing. I have absolutely no tolerance. None. Zilch. Zip. What kind of a demon am I when my own son can out drink his old man? A two year old has better tolerance.

Interestingly enough, Mary, though I dare not say her name, has grown. I found her attractive. Oddly, I mentioned out of the blue that I was dating Cindy, though I hadn't mentioned her by name either. I did enjoy the look on her face. I think she'll figure it out. She's far too intelligent to let something go unnoticed.

The memory of Arkham and how my attempt to dispatch him did fill me with great pleasure. Sadly, my job was incomplete. Ironically, it was his own daughter that finished him. There was a reason why I hadn't taken her victory from her. She needed to do it herself and I wasn't about to take that from her. In some, twisted way, I knew he was going to die by her hand.

Am I selfish? Of course. What demon isn't at some point? Am I heartless? Not entirely. I am vain, insane and quite ready to die at any given moment, but I am not without honor. Arkham's death was not meant to be my victory.

After meeting with Mary I realized that without all three of us putting an end to his madness, the tower would have been completely opened. It had been years since I thought about it and now I cannot sleep. I need to speak with D.

I met a dhampir shortly after I had awoken from my recovery. Though I was not at my full strength, my job required that I go. What strength I had left, I had to use it to defend myself. His name is D. Beautiful as he is, he is also deadly with a sword. We met, clashed swords then realized we were working toward the same goal. His orders did not come from God. Odd that a half-demon working for the Heavenly Hosts bothers me. If any other demon found this out, not only would I be deemed a traitor (that was evident already since my Father's pact with humans) but humans may wonder what God is thinking.

I am what is known as a necessary evil. It takes evil to fight evil. Though I am only by default, it does not mean that I am by deed or by nature. Demons are simply lumped into a social category thought of by a man's method through the Church. Should I be discovered...

I still hate Holy Water. Dante carries the stuff in the basement. I stayed as far away from the crate and kept near the bookshelf. I had no desire to open it.

I should write Pegasus a letter. I should write one for Nero as well.

Leave your message, and keep it brief.

I began to compose a letter to Nero. I tried at least ten times before and I couldn't finish. I don't know what to say to him. I'm hoping that when I see him face to face that I can allow myself to be open with him. I had trouble with that in the past and Lyla was the one that often did the talking. Cindy does too, but he doesn't know her yet. We do need to talk. There is a reason that we need to meet and one of those reasons lies in the truth.

I have no clue what to say to him. I suppose the saying "winging it" comes to mind. I have grown used to being alone that I never had to worry about explaining myself. Lyla understood me, and I failed her just as I failed Nero. What do I say? Father, tell me what to do.

This song spoke to me.

"Coma White" by Marilyn Manson

There's something cold and blank behind her smile
She's standing on an overpass
In her miracle mile

"You were from a perfect world
A world that threw me away today
Today to run away"

A pill to make you numb
A pill to make you dumb
A pill to make you anybody else
But all the drugs in this world
Won't save her from herself

Her mouth was an empty cut
And she was waiting to fall
Just bleeding like a polaroid that
Lost all her dolls

I don't know why, but I had to write it down. I wonder if people are just that blank at times.

I've been wondering something. I can sense magic and while I had the office for a few hours to myself each day, I ventured a chance to find the source. Wards. I was blown back, burned and smoking from just touching it. I guess I'm not supposed to go in there. I'll have to ask Dante sometime.

While I'm thinking about it, I should do something about that stupid telemarketer.

I have to wonder that the reason for Dante's daily excursions for leaving the shop have something to do with Mary's refusal to see me. I have yet to talk to Dante about her. I think we both have been avoiding the subject due to our mutually troubled pasts. While Dante has seemed to have moved on, I don't think Mary has. Seeing me in the age I was when her father betrayed both of us might anger her.

I am aware.

We need a message board. Dante was out again and I was unaware of it until I noticed his scent was not there. Nevan had made no further advances toward me though she has made hints that she will continue to try. It matters not to me. It's in her nature.

I found a few CD's with music so I played them. I like Pain, Marilyn Manson and Nine Inch Nails. Crypto Christ and Zeromancer are growing on me. My Chemical Romance bore me and the same goes for AFI and some other band, right, Bullet For My Valentine. They seem tame for my liking.

I like Bond, Cindy listens to them. She also likes Switchblade Symphony and Carrion. Both are interesting. Perhaps it's the haunting tones that appeal to me. For older bands, Scorpions has a special place. I remember hearing them when I was in Germany on vacation with my foster family. I didn't tell them I was seeing a rock band. I told them I was going out with a few friends to the clubs in Hamburg. They never questioned it. I don't think they cared enough to check on me.

No matter, I had fun. Back then, it was a right of passage when children succeeded in tricking their parents. I'll have to watch for that...

My day started out with Nevan again trying her hand to sway my interests toward her. Instead of throwing her across the room, I offered her an apology. While we are under the same roof, the chances of crossing paths is inevitable in a place this small. It was better to iron out the wrinkles than hold a grudge. There was no space for it.

I overheard trifling bits of conversation along my path toward the diner. Cindy was waiting for me and I am never late. I am penniless, too young to take on the tougher jobs and too aloof for customer service, I had one other option. I could offer my services to Dante as his financial manager. He hardly has the time to devote to bookkeeping. Honestly, he devotes his time to trivial matters than what is really important. In a word, he's lazy.

No matter. He has his life and I have mine.

The past, while not forgotten, it shouldn't be the main reason for stagnation. It will be something that I must avoid. Demons walk through this city freely. Some are in relationships with humans through friendship or romantic in their design. I feel at peace here. Odd, as it seems, I can live here without the threat of being used.

Arkham...

The name boils my blood to the core. He sacrificed his wife. While a priestess, he spilled her blood without remorse and called her miserable for it. He deserved his death, slow, painful, dreadful, pitiful, he was reduced to the creature he was. His existence has been erased, though the memory is as clear as the day it had happened.

I feel regret.

The day will come when I have to speak with Mary. Dante has business dealings with her and out of respect for my brother, I make myself scarce when she comes around. I despise hiding though the interaction with me could prove damaging. My dreams of living a virtuous life as a noble knight like my father before me would not be an easy path.

Someday, Mary, I will right the wrongs I have committed against you. The blame is not entirely your father's.

Imagine my surprise when I had emerged from the gate that once separated me from the Human world from the Demon world. I had once thought that if I had returned to my father's domain that I could be just like him. That day...and many that followed...took me one step closer toward obtaining the power that I had once thought I could control.

I had died twice. Once by the hand of my brother the other by the hand of Mundus though indirectly a result of Dante killing my physical form under Mundus' control. I have no memory during my time as a slave to the Dark Lord.

My eyes had opened to the bright sky. A sky that I had once looked upon as a child in my happier days of my youth. It sickens me that I could never get them back. My childhood was torn asunder the day our home was attacked and I had thought Dante was killed. I had later learned that he fled and hid just as Mother had asked him to do. The evidence was presented to me and I learned through his rat of a friend when he had mistaken me for my brother.

That is neither here nor there, though worth mentioning.

My first moments on Earth were not easy. I had trouble adjusting to breathing again and my body was weak. I felt the same the day that Dante had defeated me. The pain was nothing compared to what I had caused him. We both suffered. With my power greatly diminished, I had continued my hunt, an order given to me by the one that had given me my last test.

I mistook his message that I should complete the task in a day. I was sorely mistaken. The night came and I had found the cluster of vampires. I had thought that if I eradicated them quickly that I would be on my way and one step closer to seeing my son again. That was my wish. I was under the impression that time had not changed.

My work had just begun. I had cut down several blood feeders and some ghouls, but it wasn't enough. The stronger ones had come swiftly and I was unprepared. The sires, unbeknownst to me, kept hidden while they had sent their progeny to take care of the threat. I was that threat. Their numbers would not have been a problem should I have been at my full strength.

During their attack, they had pinned me to the ground with iron rods throughout my chest and arms. I was careless in my assessment. I had underestimated them and paid the price. While I had laid there, I had fallen into a deep and dreamless sleep. I had no idea how long I had laid there.

Sounds of birds and people stirred me from my sleep. My eyes were greeted by the sight of a graveyard. It was irony. It was much like that day when I was a child and had been left for dead after the demons attacked. I recall one vampire who tried to touch Yamato. His action resulted in a burn that caused him to drop the sword. Only three could wield it without madness taking over their mind. My father, Dante and Nero. Nero is far too young yet to handle the sword. Should the time come, he would be the one to take up Yamato and take my place.

Alas, I may never see that day arrive.

I picked myself up from the ground to have a look around. I pulled out the iron rods, though the stares from onlookers didn't catch my attention until I had realized that humans often fear what they don't understand. I was that embodiment of fear even for a moment. The rods clattered onto the ground. My chest ached from the rods. I heard a little girl scream as she clutched onto her mother's skirt. I was undeterred.

My body ached. Then I heard his voice. I knew it was Dante and I made my approach. The man with him, though I didn't know it at the time, was his date. I had never realized how time had passed until I had saw him. He was considerably older than me, perhaps as a symbol that he had surpassed me in more ways than one.

Then hope came. My brother greeted me as if nothing had happened. I had seen the years pass in that moment. Here I had remained the same and he had grown. He embraced me. I was shaken. I had learned that he was seeking revenge as I had all those years ago. Though our methods were different as well as our motivations, our goal was the same.

Our differences were too great to ignore.

The day continued with small talk and continued conversations of why I had returned. The explanation was nothing short of complicated at best. Dante, his date Pegasus and myself had stopped in at the tiny diner he frequented. The waitress, Cindy, was lively and added a charm to the place that was inviting. For the first time in years, I had ice cream. I can't recall the last time I had eaten anything. Hell didn't exactly have food, unless once could count bodies being feasted upon in the Plane of Indulgence. Everything was in excess and some were too disgusting to partake in.

A demon that didn't belong in either world above or below had a hard time surviving.

Cindy made me feel human again. Even in a small part, she didn't judge me. I was surprised, and pleasantly so, that she considered being a part of my life no matter how much I tried to deny myself.

The day had turned into evening and I couldn't stop thinking about her. It was much the same when I had met Lyla. Cindy was a lot like her in many ways. Perhaps Lyla would have turned out the same in personality if she had survived.

I find myself making these comparisons. Perhaps it is my inability to forgive myself for not saving her when I was too arrogant to accept my shortcomings. The past is how it should be. I would be lying if I didn't find myself impressed with my brother. He succeeded where I have failed.

It was time to retire to the shop. I scarcely recall admitting to my brother my true purpose and his offer to allow my presence to remain while I was here. The offer was generous, much to my chagrin, and I accepted.