#15

Music has a way of speaking to me when I have trouble coming up with the right words to say. I dedicated a song to Cindy. I thought it fit to her otherwise troubled day and I wanted to cheer her up.

I hadn't anticipated that Dante and I would fight as hard as we had. I cannot recall the exact event that led to my near death. I do remember the Devil taking control and after that...oh yes, Mundus. Finally, we managed to clear the air between us that surrounded Mallet.

While it was true that I had been destroyed, I was reborn in Hell with no memory of it. There were still impressions left on my soul that did indicate a memory but there was something that told me that Dante did it to save me. I would like to think so. Captivity is a fate worse than death and that has happened to me twice. Both times I deserved my fate and I hold no ill will toward my brother though I could feel his trepidation.

Maybe one day we'll move on once all these issues and ghosts of the past cease their haunting. I would like to be a family again...that is my wish.

#16 Living

I met a dhampir shortly after I had awoken from my recovery. Though I was not at my full strength, my job required that I go. What strength I had left, I had to use it to defend myself. His name is D. Beautiful as he is, he is also deadly with a sword. We met, clashed swords then realized we were working toward the same goal. His orders did not come from God. Odd that a half-demon working for the Heavenly Hosts bothers me. If any other demon found this out, not only would I be deemed a traitor (that was evident already since my Father's pact with humans) but humans may wonder what God is thinking.

I am what is known as a necessary evil. It takes evil to fight evil. Though I am only by default, it does not mean that I am by deed or by nature. Demons are simply lumped into a social category thought of by a man's method through the Church. Should I be discovered...

I still hate Holy Water. Dante carries the stuff in the basement. I stayed as far away from the crate and kept near the bookshelf. I had no desire to open it.

I should write Pegasus a letter. I should write one for Nero as well.

#17

Alastor is an interesting individual. His style is one of the better that I have seen in a long time. Perhaps it would do me some good to get some much needed practice without the rude interruptions of Beowulf. Admittedly, I have grown accustomed to his abusive insults. I have to remind him who is boss and he generally keeps quiet. He has no choice but to obey. It gladdens me that I have him under complete submission.

D and I had a talk that required a great deal of attention. Alastor couldn't stop staring at the cranes thus I thought he was a bit rude to my guest. No matter, I prefer to have his undivided attention. D fascinates me. I should show him how to fold paper cranes. It will give us time to discuss strategy while he practices this quiet, indoor hobby.

I'm not looking forward to the paper cuts. I should ask my brother about Pegasus.

#18

Inevitability gave its greeting today in the form of a woman and her grudge. Today was the first time since my arrival from Hell, no, that is not correct, the second time since my arrival that I had an alcoholic beverage. The second time I had vodka, half a shot and I lost my footing. I have absolutely no tolerance. None. Zilch. Zip. What kind of a demon am I when my own son can out drink his old man? A two year old has better tolerance.

Interestingly enough, Mary, though I dare not say her name, has grown. I found her attractive. Oddly, I mentioned out of the blue that I was dating Cindy, though I hadn't mentioned her by name either. I did enjoy the look on her face. I think she'll figure it out. She's far too intelligent to let something go unnoticed.

The memory of Arkham and how my attempt to dispatch him did fill me with great pleasure. Sadly, my job was incomplete. Ironically, it was his own daughter that finished him. There was a reason why I hadn't taken her victory from her. She needed to do it herself and I wasn't about to take that from her. In some, twisted way, I knew he was going to die by her hand.

Am I selfish? Of course. What demon isn't at some point? Am I heartless? Not entirely. I am vain, insane and quite ready to die at any given moment, but I am not without honor. Arkham's death was not meant to be my victory.

After meeting with Mary I realized that without all three of us putting an end to his madness, the tower would have been completely opened. It had been years since I thought about it and now I cannot sleep. I need to speak with D.

Random songs

AWOLNation: Some Kind of Joke
Jeff Fiorentino: Ashhole
Clockwork UK: Soul Storm
Dark Nexus: Rain
Zeromancer: Cupola
Zeromancer: Mint
Vast: One More Day
Vast: Until I Die
Vast: I Know How to Love

Zeromancer: V
Pain: Dirty Woman
Furia Inc.: Pitchblack Downfall